Journal Entry [interlude]

Gnarl*

moving on in my philosophy, can help to be more parallel; being aligned, whilst asking for support, always end with, “I wish you well.”

trying to enter a room without smite – doing my best to show hospitality, even when I may think it’s not right.

I have an insisting heart toward my aspirations; as I traveled many roads I’ve broken a great measure of curses, going back many generations.

finalizing the agreement I made to myself; Assuring each choice I make never hinder me, but help.

Journal Entry # 17


Gray*

Retaining inspiration to better my situation; another may see gray and think gloom, whereas I see a rainbow from my perception.

Gray to me is that fine line that petrifies folks; panicking, without realizing that it takes away your sanity once invoked.

I am ingenious, layered with principles that pushes me infinitely toward transcendence; as I continue, I realize that where I was weakened, is now a strength of independence.

Journal Entry # 16

understatements*


Connecting to an inexperienced part of who I am; Undressing layers as each day pass – as if it’s an intimate promised land.

Any philistine that tamper with my devotion, shows the value of their time; my destination is inevitable, detours never put me in the position to ever run behind.

I am focused and resilient toward the path paved for me; mindfulness has kept my thoughts from feeling superfluous and empty – giving my mind more care and healing therapy.

going off the rails, whilst smiling harder than I ever have, all because i took a chance on defining faith; as I absorb all of this energy, i lose interest in the diversions that got me to this place.

It’s giving, “Finally!” – because the grunt of the lesson is behind me!

Journal Entry # 15

3rd Moon’s the Charm*


The room is still on high frequency

-I’m awake, yet it feels like a dream

being embraced like that, was the definition of intimacy

-God knows, nothing is what it seem

I’m in anguish by the way things are conditioned

-As a woman , it’s hard not to display emotion

I get mad often, because, what happened to my choices and decisions

-Why can’t i just be the focus?

turn the page

The Title*

I’m interpreting my current train of thought

-thinking of the fights that i’ve fought

there’s a tug of war between running onward, or away from my issues

-really putting in the work, hoping the strategy isn’t misused

encapsulated by worries i shouldn’t dwell on

-focusing on my breathing – hoping this moment don’t last long

Journal Entry # 12

Adducing – ย citing as evidence or proof…


I’ve been shuffling around, looking for a vantage point

-Envious thoughts are rebuked, I am someone conjoint

I want to be united within, the without doesn’t reflect the true image

-I’m playing this field aggressively; the vibes are showing an intense scrimmage, culminating passively

Break*

“A still tongue makes a wise head.” Do much thinking before you do much talking.”

โ€“ ALFRED J. PARKER

My Name is Shakia*

the names we use create life experiences – and mine has created a kindred nature with the desire to associate in friendship and understanding both socially and in the business world.

Peaceful and settled conditions can often appeal to me; Naturally, I am desirous with having the security of home, where my life can follow a definite pattern, where I don’t have to make major decisions.

even though its rare, I find it difficult to take a definite stand, partly because of what I may be lacking [maybe confidence] – I also dislike any issues which create disputes between people.

Procrastination is a nasty habit which often, what you can call a weakness of my nature, causing an inability to always complete plans or concentrate too long.

I need to see a concept presented completely before I can understand it, and if I can’t understand it – I come to my own conclusion, often failing to listen to and reason out another’s point of view

I resist being forced into change and can become almost impervious to new ideas.

I desire refinement, understanding and appreciation, yet sometimes my outward attitude does not reveal my innermost feelings, and thus, I have never felt truly understood.

Journal Entry # 9

as positive as I want to appear, sadness do sometimes reflect in the mirror…

Ki

sitting in hiding, wanting to be rescued and recovered; my heart has been hardened, because with revealing myself, who I am, still hasn’t been discovered.

it’s almost like I know of something unknown; I’m not neglecting the time that was put in, but in this I found that I am alone.

this isn’t bad; it’s a sign that things are temporary, and eventually will be in the past.

I’m realizing that I cannot expect someone to reflect the same actions I would; saving and finding me, was a lesson that never understood.

I didn’t allow it to hinder my way, I’m the one who regulate my space; as eager as I am to completely make it around the circle, i will continue to stay in my lane

Journal Entry # 8

I want to be spiritual in a different form – grasping all the knowledge available, for me to conform…

my crutch usually defines as me shutting down – and that’s an understatement; how hard is it to improve without feeling complacent? I wish I knew right now…

my focus is genuinely everywhere, and this forces me to make myself more alert, and more aware; even though deep down, at times, it can be hard to bear

in the middle of all of it; this time in my life will pass, and i will forgive, and learn from whatever it is i didn’t forget…