Tag prose poem

un-Synchronized*

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being struck in the brain with sudden decisions, gives me chills – to know I went through stuff I rather not spill; boy! I am truly gifted – anointed and chosen, I’m handling these blessings with precision, cherishing every moment;

often I’m afraid of losing my touch, knowing I embody the feeling; being myself never been so appealing; I’ve never asked for much; when will “whatever” be an actual endeavor? I want more than to be apart of a flock, of one feather;

the only subject that I bond with is my mind; with one other, that happens to be time – though, many realities are happening, yet, time hasn’t moved a bit! I can see these facets a mile away, running toward circumstance, because I just want to get it over with; I’ve never been the type to go astray;

jumping into overwhelming appointments – knowing I shouldn’t be so impulsive; trying to plan out my life making it a goal to be compulsive; I don’t know how to respond as I watch many sides of me – made it hard to be calm;

and in that moment, I found a new peace- for now on even when affairs aren’t pretty, I must always have the courage to speak!

I’m melting away all my fears, as I continue to look sternly in the mirror; In my heart I know eventually my sight will be clearer…

S/o*

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following a melodic tone

feeling the sensitive flow of its moan

the vibrations of its falsetto rubs me all the right ways,

using music to explain what it is I’m trying to say

I’m a hopeless romantic

though, I do not fall vulnerable to misleading antics

the soothing sound of love pulls me into a trance

generating thoughts by talking through this dance

I’m spoiling myself with a few classics,

music to my ears, to me, is everlasting

ventilation*

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Having more than sight is a totality living in this world, in this I don’t intend to rhyme because it isn’t something to play with; it’s just in me to say I  really don’t want to take the time out to think about what goes with what word – you know. I know for myself, personally if It’s meant to come out that way, so be it. I paint pictures for you to truly understand the shoes I fill; it may seem mediocre to the next person, looking at only the quality or the condition of its shell, but I stand in the rawness that’s living on the inside. You truly don’t know; this is fine though, this isn’t your obligation. Your main priority is to deal with you; be for you first. Being last hasn’t really shown it’s  best rewards, it’s almost giving the blessing God intended for you – to someone else.

That’s almost regifting something that was and is priceless, authentic, personalized just for you. How is that fair for you? You is really I, who happens to be me. Something I had to give up was my weakness to guilt; allowing people that should care about me, take full advantage for self-perseverance purposes. Shaking my head in real life – how can a pure heart do that; It doesn’t. Giving isn’t always good nor healthy; decisions are purposeful. The same way I may be picky with my food or even my men; why not be this way about my whole life. This seem to be the best way to live if I don’t just want to exist. Can I get a witness If you agree! Been waiting for this moment, to be free like this in the “comfort” of my own home. Bunny ears because being home isn’t always comfortable – I mean can I be real right now huh?  Just wanting to put it all out there doesn’t feel like such a bad idea depending on the choice of conversation.

Topics would be the formal word for those that laugh at the face of my format. Not realizing it was a poker face or cover page – you understand? No? Ok – check it, I mostly talk how I write, and it’s somewhat professional with a splash of hoodlum ha-ha! ultimately I call it just being me. People still look at me like a circus act though, and it’s cool. The joke is on them when they see how business is really handled. Then the respect is abundant. I’ll be clear, may I add – I don’t force it, if you love it, great. If you don’t, there’s always doors to walk through. The same way you walked in, you can walk out.

commence*

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Life as we know it, is so precious; we forget to think about things like that. Seeing my growth before my eyes in certain areas is really a humbling feeling. Thank God for time and chance; with each day I’m blessed with an opportunity to learn from my mistakes I made yesterday, and try again – hence, another chance.

The saying is you only have one life to live; in my opinion, I believe each day The Lord bless’ us with another is another advantage at life and so far the Lord been waking me up for 28 years and counting! I have many flaws, yet I’m very ok with that; I’m saying Hallelujah anyhow! Why? I say this because it is well; even with what “looks” like a low time in my life, there’s light at the end of this storm – sunshine if you want to get technical.

See, when you find yourself in a place where your faith begins to evolve in the unconscious mind and heart, you no longer look at what’s in front of you. I have vision, not just sight – a vision has no obligation to look back, but what’s in front of me, and beyond – just sitting here composing this passage, gives me more correspondence to what going on in a whole – everything is connected. I’m blessed to have an avenue where I am able to have this kind of breakthrough at the age I am.

God is so good, and his grace and mercy never stops! Knowing what I know now, the only thing I would take back are the moments where I should’ve just took a moment, and tell myself STOP. Yet, I am deeply grateful that I went through the things I did; painful and scaring moments, became healed wounds for a testimony and growth in my life as the woman I am to this day. I pray to myself everyday, that pass the flesh I’m in, he is still pleased with my heart.  

glossitis*

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feeling every second of this moment I’m in

getting crazy, without being the fool again

I’m running things now

no more stepping over me or pushing me around

artistic in every way

I’ve always been a fan of, “saying it to your face”

protecting every part of my being

nevermore will one be allowed to be deceiving

without the glue [me], how can you fix every piece?

the doubt in my heart has definitely decreased…

precociousness*

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The real examination in life, is living life before the expiration. Knowing that it is more than existing; using that very reason as inspiration. Looking for anything to be your muse; knowing when it’s just enough, and knowing when it’s being abused. Being a radiance of love, because anger shortens life-expectancy. Comprehending that a tart attitude in your days can take more energy. Settling is also a don’t; how would you know what you like if you reply is, ‘I won’t’?

Gathering information for a thorough investigation; because life is really hard, and death is an easy emancipation. It tickles me that the opposite is thought of; the way people complain you’d think dying was – to most – a spark plug. Meaning of excitement – I could never fathom not taking full advantage of living first until my purpose is fulfilled; I think of it now and it’s amazing. Really though, the true examination of life is honestly what you make it; given all you can before life is taken…. 

interlude

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begging for better, writing an emotional letter – refraining from becoming sadder; aware of the thoughts that created the matter… but I am strong.

I believe i’ve held it in way too long, I’m not sure if I’m writing a poem or a song; all I know is, here, is where I belong… but I am also impulsive.

at least it’s acknowledged, I allow nothing to hold me bondage… but I must watch, and observe what I decide to seek, because everything wasn’t made for me…