Amanda’s World*

“There’s a well in me…”

Genesis 1:28

Often I stumble down to a place that makes me dark; putting myself behind the prey that caused it from the start.

I stray from any form of manipulation; it causes me to feel confused with frustration.

Today, I retire from old guilt trips; I’m moving on to greater fellowships.

I’ve realized that support is replaceable; I understand that there’re more options than to lean on those who’d rather make a fool of you.

Devastation, embarrassment, and acceptance – these things have appeared in my life as a hinderance.

Exploiting it has opened my spirit, finding fruition within the problem.

Showing responsibility for my actions, to create better solutions to solve them.

Capturing the key idea of this conundrum inadmissibly, understanding where the roots begin; bellowing over indescribable emotions that I’m fighting within.

I’m confident this will also be well enough to come together; soon time will tell, until then, I’ll continue to apply the pressure!

Journal Entry # 24

I’m finally free to vocalize what I feel without fear; recounting my story with genuine, listening ears.

Unfolding every raw inequity; being honest in every flaw and complexity.

Finally! I’m on a fresh path placed by my Lord, thankfully! I’m releasing all sorrow in order to move forward peacefully.

You get what you put out; for me, that’ll never be doubt!


“Don’t change the intention; change how to fulfill the intention…”

Sarah Jakes-Roberts

Jordan Entry 23*

I want to do so many things that I get frustrated with the rate of my success; my actions are synonymous with the goals I set my mind on, yet every step I make feels disorganized, just a complete mess!

Beyond that, I still strive to pay closer attention to the lessons, and not the mistakes; recognizing that the blessing in it is because of my faith.

I dig deep to channel the visions I have from my point of view; looking for the words to describe my peculiarity, because my colours are of a different hue.

Being content in this space; Embracing the peace like it’s the last breath I can take – hoping to grow. Allowing my faith to break my fall whenever failure shows.

I looked into the mirror, and I demand integrity; I am completely fine with who I’m developing into. At this moment, I’ve finally had clarity.

Journal Entry # 22

Gab*



why do I sit here and contemplate my differences?

hoping that my words are more than emphasis, but deliberate.

I’m capable of so much, and luck conceived none of it! Although I am extremely humble, I’m also confident, making it normal to make myself prominent.

only I can care for myself the way I do!

I would never guide myself into the wrong point of view.

I’m impressing a certain height of power, engaging in tasks, most wouldn’t have the courage to do; believe me, I may not be old, but I’m also not new –

There’s nothing in this world that will stress me into a casket; I am made whole and complete to be everlasting.

Journal Entry # 21

Confounded*

Feeling my spine bend with chills as my face swell with a unique smile; I’m flustered, because the sensation is indescribable – it’s been this way for a while.

It’s time for the big war, particularly a war that doesn’t keep score; do anyone believe in anything anymore?

My only mission has been to succeed, all while honoring the things that created me, and believe in; winning the battle without having to wear my soul thin.

I chose this path for myself, because other creativity to me feels intimidating; I can make sunlight to be bright, not dark, and in my days I’ve seen those very hearts. I often decide to stray from false acts of militating.

vitals*

crying a Jordan river instead of tears

-wanting nothing but an eternity of years; to be more than just one aesthetic

I’m conceiving visions that are immense, mirroring ideas that are prophetic

-weathering the storm my mind begin experiencing; tirelessly giving all the glory [good or bad circumstances] to the King


walking through a door I choose to call serenity, clearing all the fog so that I can see – as plain as that sound, imagine your space being filled with love, turning your life completely around! I’m ecstatic, because this phase of placidity pulls me as if my energy was the magnet!

“Attitudes do more than show through. They sound through too!”

David J. Schwartz

Journal Entry # 20

2 Timothy 3:16-17


I am authoring today, there are things I have in my heart, I want to say; I want to validly deliver these terms, in a certain way… So down below will express what I truly mean, in the way that I pray…


“All Scripture is inspired by God, and is useful to teach us what is true and what make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teach us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”


I am soaking up many experiences I’ve had in yesteryear; seeing later on that I’ve been surrounded by people whose intent was hurt me as a whole – it’s been made very clear.

I present myself with necessary wisdom – marking the times where I win some and lose some; I’m comprehending that life is never going to stop throwing stones, it’s really up to us to focus, and stay in the proper zones.

Managing my inner-anger has had a plethora obstacles I have to go through, and as simple as it signs, there are things I know will be hard to do.

Plodding through my journey, so that I don’t miss anything; I know there’s a finish line close to this chapter, and it’s approaching faster than next spring…

bridge*

Walking by faith is the most healthiest thing you can do. Faith is when you allow the Lord to take over all milestones in your life โ€“ good or bad.

Simple, YET itย can be so complicated, and this can be said from experience. Whether it seem like I’m babbling or not, this was in my spirit to put down. Life is so hard, having front row seats to that can bring a lot of emotions and feelings that are sometimes unexplained.

Things unknown are mostly for the best in my opinion. As bad as I would like to know every single thing, I’ve realized that it’s better not to know all the time. Doors that can regrettably be open are the hardest ones to close back.ย ย