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Journal Entry # 32 and 33

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Rinse and Repeat*

Numb-Err 32*

Discovering who I am has displayed many leveled difficulties.

Dwelling in places I shouldn’t have been, but it’s my fault, you see.

Taking a stand for what is right, and not a great good.

If people would just mind their own, they would understand why I took a chance and stood.

This is what I’ve I learned so far; now I need to move on to healing my next scar…

Number 33*

Each day, I reflect in the morning; deafening myself from outside noise.

I’m in wanderlust, and the route is revealing many reasons I am glowing; God! I’m doing my best to not to find anything else to fill this void.

I am quite complex; My make-up is pleasant, but the colours are blue.

I am the one to be next; the cover of my book isn’t half of what I can do.

Journal Entry # 31

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Mistake to a Lesson*

Eating an unforgettable fruit

Yearning to understand Eve’s point of view

I’ve dived into something that was once a promise

I’m enduring many emotions, yet I’m at my calmest

Realizing that I do these things to test the strength I heed

I’m taking control of this vice without intentions of deceit

Proving to myself that I know when to take action

Being stern, breaking down each obstacle by a fraction

I call myself enhancing the powers I already possess

I just don’t those around me to extend any extra stress

Why isn’t there another way to celebrate

My option is a funeral or a birthday cake – for Christ’ sake

One glance, digesting the fruit of an unknown

And I just disappear – wanting to find somewhere to call home

Journal Entry # 30*

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Continued Journey*

Understanding her worth is priority; She yearns for God to rule in her life with authority.

In her downfalls and her success, I mean accomplishments, she always holds everyone up, knowing it is she who is truly down, but she is patient.

She tries to focus on that one solid goal until things distract her, thinking what they detoured her to was solid gold.

I applaud her efforts that she’s commissioning; my only prayer is that someone is listening.

Journal Entry # 27 and 28*

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Twenty-Seven*

One hour ago things were very grey; right now I’m more than amazed.

Repetitive things don’t always adjust to the way I think; life is familiar – just like writing in the same ink, doesn’t mean I’m going to writing the same thing.

I’m looking for grace and mercy to flood my soul and spirit; I want to feel it in my veins; I’m searching for it beyond these walls, above this ceiling!

Don’t make me say that again….

Twenty-Eight*

I am great

I am empathetic

I am not small

I am not pathetic

I am a servant

I am a leader

I am not quiet

I am a loud speaker

I am a conqueror

I am triumphant

I am not less than

I am one out of one-hundred

I am filled with glory

I am thankful to my Lord

I am not fiction

I am a true story

Journal Entry # 26*

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What is my deal? I’m providing all good energy, yet, to others, the price of it is a steal!

Am I too nice, too lenient? Do you think it’s fair, even though I’m obedient?

Give me a moment – I’m talking to myself; you know what they say, “that’s not good for your health.”

Well, what I do? Why is there silence, will the answers I receive from my questions be of any use?

I can’t stress it enough! We are here to be used for good works; one shouldn’t abuse, because one is a jerk.

Going outside of the lines isn’t a feature I hold, and it’s a habit I choose not to break.

I’m opposed to repeating any of my mistakes.

It’s intriguing to watch one actually have the guts; it devours my stomach with disgust.

I can’t stress these things enough!

Being of use in good works was the only thing expected of us.

Continue to be useful, not useless; don’t stand in the way of another’s shot – be humble, your character is all you got!

Shower me with mercy so that grace flow when I speak…

Europa

Amanda’s World*

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“There’s a well in me…”

Genesis 1:28

Often I stumble down to a place that makes me dark; putting myself behind the prey that caused it from the start.

I stray from any form of manipulation; it causes me to feel confused with frustration.

Today, I retire from old guilt trips; I’m moving on to greater fellowships.

I’ve realized that support is replaceable; I understand that there’re more options than to lean on those who’d rather make a fool of you.

Devastation, embarrassment, and acceptance – these things have appeared in my life as a hinderance.

Exploiting it has opened my spirit, finding fruition within the problem.

Showing responsibility for my actions, to create better solutions to solve them.

Capturing the key idea of this conundrum inadmissibly, understanding where the roots begin; bellowing over indescribable emotions that I’m fighting within.

I’m confident this will also be well enough to come together; soon time will tell, until then, I’ll continue to apply the pressure!

Jordan Entry 23*

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I want to do so many things that I get frustrated with the rate of my success; my actions are synonymous with the goals I set my mind on, yet every step I make feels disorganized, just a complete mess!

Beyond that, I still strive to pay closer attention to the lessons, and not the mistakes; recognizing that the blessing in it is because of my faith.

I dig deep to channel the visions I have from my point of view; looking for the words to describe my peculiarity, because my colours are of a different hue.

Being content in this space; Embracing the peace like it’s the last breath I can take – hoping to grow. Allowing my faith to break my fall whenever failure shows.

I looked into the mirror, and I demand integrity; I am completely fine with who I’m developing into. At this moment, I’ve finally had clarity.

Journal Entry # 20

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2 Timothy 3:16-17

I am authoring today, there are things I have in my heart, I want to say; I want to validly deliver these terms, in a certain way… So down below will express what I truly mean, in the way that I pray…

“All Scripture is inspired by God, and is useful to teach us what is true and what make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teach us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”

I am soaking up many experiences I’ve had in yesteryear; seeing later on that I’ve been surrounded by people whose intent was hurt me as a whole – it’s been made very clear.

I present myself with necessary wisdom – marking the times where I win some and lose some; I’m comprehending that life is never going to stop throwing stones, it’s really up to us to focus, and stay in the proper zones.

Managing my inner-anger has had a plethora obstacles I have to go through, and as simple as it signs, there are things I know will be hard to do.

Plodding through my journey, so that I don’t miss anything; I know there’s a finish line close to this chapter, and it’s approaching faster than next spring…

Journal Entry # 18 and 19

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18*

listening to a tune played by a special bird, it has a specific sound; I’m not sure if I’m the only who heard too, I just know I want hear it everyday now.

I’m seeing the small things others may overlook; life will really throw things at you, that you won’t find in any book.

face value defines this moment; observations show that only faith gives me strength to even think of hoping.

I’m being as honest as I can, I truly hope its showing.

19*

am I being repetitive because I express my main goal in different way? Or am I working it out to find a solution within this pain; I’m no longer approaching my affairs the same – my behavior is slowly becoming tamed.

I benefit from my “will” to be in control; I’ll rather be self taught, than to sell my soul… My journey is filled with many elements; beyond the naked eye, there’re blessings and accomplishments that only I can explain when it comes to its developments…

Journal Entry [interlude]

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Gnarl*

moving on in my philosophy, can help to be more parallel; being aligned, whilst asking for support, always end with, “I wish you well.”

trying to enter a room without smite – doing my best to show hospitality, even when I may think it’s not right.

I have an insisting heart toward my aspirations; as I traveled many roads I’ve broken a great measure of curses, going back many generations.

finalizing the agreement I made to myself; Assuring each choice I make never hinder me, but help.